adding the video
Posted by BigSis Meg on December 7, 2009
I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out how I can add the video from the Memorial Service to the blog, but for some reason on my computer I can’t get the video on the disk downloaded to my hard drive or moved from the disk to the blog. So I’m going to have to try something else. I really want to be able to share the video. It’s 15:16 minutes long.
Today was my official first day back to work. It was weird going to back because I thought of Courtney several times; like she was down at the hospital and I wanted to go see her. When I have those thoughts it only makes me happier to remind myself that she’s no longer stuck down at the hospital. Which has made this transition much easier for myself and my family. We know she is enjoying her new healthy, happy, full of life at “Home” with Dad, Poppy and just recently with two more CF friends Ginger and Paul “Q”. Courtney got a message from “Q” just a few of weeks ago, just before she passed. He said that he was thinking of her and that he wouldn’t be too far behind her. Well, he was right…it was less than 2 weeks and she was there to welcome him. I’m sure of that! Which brings me to my next point.
I believe Courtney knew when her expiration date was going to be. I know this blog is over 6 months old, and I can’t remember everything I have shared with you, but I know I’ve told some friends and family about this incident. Courtney told us Angels had come to her nearly 4 months ago. This was before she had her transplant surgery. She said that they told her to rest her eyes. When she told me this I said to her “It makes me so happy to hear because I know you are still here for a reason and they want you to rest so that you can get better.” She told me “No, I think they want me to go with them.” She had a vision that she walked out of her hospital room with them. Then again after she had her transplant she told us about Jesus and our Dad at her bedside. She knew he was there to help her. It was like she knew it…she knew that time was coming. If you had the priviledge to see Courtney those last few days of her life, you wouldn’t have thought it was going to end. I truly believe she knew when that final day was going to be, so she was going to live her life to the fullest as much as she could with no muscles to move her legs and no strength to get up and walk out of there. My nephew Daniel asked her on the Friday before she passed, “You’re going to die right?”. Courtney simply looked at him with a smile and mouthed “Yep”. WITH A SMILE! She was so ready. She knew what her reward was going to be!!!
I know what my reward will be one of these days too, but I can only hope I go with the grace as she did. I can only hope that it’s as painless and comfortable as she was. NOT that I’m thinking of going anywhere anytime soon!. :) I’m just trying to leave you with this thought…I hope YOU know.
I somehow believe that Paul “Q” did too. He knew his time was expiring, and he was comforted knowing that he would be joining Courtney soon. I’m starting to think that all of you CF’rs are God’s Angels. You just have to figure out what the purpose is…
More thoughts to come…
Megan
Tara said
Beautiful entry. I believe Courtney was ready to die and that alone gives me comfort, as her friend, as a fellow cystic. Thank you for continuing to blog. I look forward to you and your sister’s posts.
Julie said
Megan,
Just wanted to write a quick note. I am Ginger’s sister(cfer). I was having a rough day and was looking on Gin’s facebook page and came across this blog. It is hard to see your sister go through so much and you feel so helpless. I never thought this day would come and was in denial for so long. Ginger had asked us often to pray for Courtney, she always put others first just as you said about Courtney,the passion they had for life and others is incredible, no matter what their daily struggles. I can not imagine each day forward without her, but I have some comfort knowing she will no longer strugle and can breathe easy. I know she was just a smiling when she got to see Courtney waiting on her and Paul to follow. They truly are such amazing angels. I just hope that I can be as strong as them in life’s journey. Thanks again for sharing her story and you will all be in our prayers in this difficult time.
Amy Silcox (Philly) said
Knowing she was ready is truly helping me cope. Her terms, not CF’s.
Like Tara said, thank you for keeping this blog going after she passed. <3
Carly*pottsboro* said
This brought tears to my eyes
i believe we are gods angels..I think of courtney all the time..it stil hasn settled in that shes passed.I get on here thinkn court wil sign on and talk to me on msn or myspace.i always read ur posts still and am happy you keep this goin to talk to us bout courtney..i truly miss her xoxo
Barbara said
I look forward to your posts as well and the memories you have of your sister. I, too, have many sisters and really admire the closeness of your family and the memories that you are able to share.
Patti Prince said
I know that I have heard all of these stories in person but it still makes me teary eyed when I read them. I think of Court and all of you often.