The Snow & Sunsets

The weather has been crazy since you left.  It’s funny because you never liked really cold weather, so you left just in time.  I remember that morning I was with you in the room alone.  I was typing on my laptop while you were taking a nap.  You tapped on your bed and signaled me to come over.  You mouthed to me “I need to buy something for Lindsay for Christmas”.  Tears start to roll down the side of your face.  There was a look in your eyes that you knew you weren’t going to be here for Christmas, and you were going to miss us all here, but I saw no fear.  I shook my head “Sure, what is it?”  You mouthed, “I want you to give her a Snuggie from me”.  I smiled.  You mouthed, “Promise?”.  I smiled again, “Of Course”.  Up until your last breath, you were thinking of others.   I gave that Snuggie to Lindsay on Christmas day.   I know you were there with us all.  I could feel your love.  It wasn’t me that gave it to her.  It was you.  

You gave the snow to the kids these couple of days while they are out of school.  We RARELY have snow, especially not around Christmas and especially not twice in a week.  The snow yesterday was fluffy and so easy to make a snow man.  I couldn’t get the kids to stay in long enough to get warm. 

Last night I couldn’t stop thinking about you.  I layed there and talked to you.  You were with me.   I cried, but mostly cried happy tears.  Of course I miss you and it was weird you not being here with us on Christmas.  It was weird having all of us together and we couldn’t see you.  I stop and I think about how much pain you were in.  The sores you had all over your body.  The bones you had sticking out of your back.  The abundance of medicine you were taking and it’s ALL GONE!   How AWESOME is He!?!?  I can’t begin to imagine how you must feel now.  

Lately there have been some amazing sunsets.  There was this one that it looked as if some wings were opening up out of this cluster of clouds.  There was another one where it looked like a huge hand reaching down out of the clouds.   Even the kids saw it.  We talk about you all the time.   The kids miss you terribly!  As a matter of fact there is a preview out for “Alvin and the Chipmunks – The Squeakwal” and they told me this morning that if Courtney was here she would be taking us to see that.  They said, Courtney loved to take us to the movies.  Yes, you did! 

I love you Court.  Although you aren’t here with us on Earth, you have sent so many signs that you are still here with us in spirit.  I want to Thank You for that. 

All my Love,  Megan


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Amy Silcox
    Dec 31, 2009 @ 09:34:14

    beautiful…I miss her tons


  2. Leanne
    Jan 03, 2010 @ 22:04:04

    My mom’s sister died just a few days before Christmas 31 years ago. She had already purchased most of her presents and had them wrapped under the tree in her apartment. On Christmas the family opened the gifts – my mom received a robe. Until just a few years ago she still wore that robe every morning, and I know she still has it. I am sure Lindsay will always cherish that snuggie, as my mom does her robe. Much love, Leanne.


    • BigSis Meg
      Jan 04, 2010 @ 19:40:25

      That’s a sweet story Leanne. Your Aunt left a special gift and I’m sure it helped your Mom along the way.


  3. Uncle Jimmy
    Jan 10, 2010 @ 21:34:51

    We think about you all the time too Court, was with Nan Christmas day and on Pop’s Birthday, I hope you spent your time with him, I know you did cause that’s how you are, thinking of others first.


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