Betting on a Cure!

I am so excited to say that my sisters and I, along with our mom, are working on a new fundraising event we’re calling “Betting on a Cure”, a casino night benefitting the CF Foundation!  We think this event will be a lot of fun, and I hope we have a great turn out. 

The casino night will be on Friday, April 9th at the new Marriott Courtyard in Allen off Stacy Road.  The party starts at 7:00pm, and will include the classic Las Vegas games of Poker, Black Jack and Craps!  Marriott has graciously agreed to donate the space to us, so we need to make sure we have as many people there as possible.  This will be open to the public so, save the date and bring all your friends!

Buy-ins to play the games is $40, and prizes will be awarded to the top chip holders.  Additionally, raffle tickets will be sold for $10 each for a chance to win more great items.  We are currently looking for sponsors and raffle items, so if you have any ideas, please let us know.  We are positive we will have some wonderful options to choose from!

So far, everything is working out perfectly, so I know Courtney is working her magic from above and pulling some strings for us.  If this event does as well as the Zaza auction, we will easily be dancing over the $15,000 goal line she set for us!  Please come out and help us make this happen!!

Love,

Kelly

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Random thought

This line came from an email my mom sent to me this morning – it made me think of Courtney so I wanted to add it for all to read:

“Sometimes the angels fly close enough to you that you can hear the flutter of their wings…”

Which made me think that sometimes we don’t realize it’s their wings we’re hearing until they have to go back home.  I miss my Courtney.

Love, Kelly

A memory with Courtney

One of my best memories with Courtney happened only a couple years ago.  In May of 2007, Marty and I decided to take a cruise as our family vacation.  We told Courtney about it, and she was so excited for us that we asked her join us on the trip.  So we packed up the car and drove down to Galveston for a 5 day cruise to Progreso and Cozumel, Mexico.

The ship itself wasn’t that big, at least compared to the one and only other cruise I’ve been on, so by the 3rd day we’d pretty much seen all that the ship had to offer.  Of course, the shows change daily, but for the most part, there was no more exploring to do.  Except for this one spot at the very front of the boat…  If we were standing on an upper deck, we could look down and see a few people lounging around a small pool.  It looked so nice and inviting compared to other parts of the boat that had many people roaming about.  So, one day while Courtney and I were by ourselves watching a show, I leaned over to her and said “Do you want to see if we can go find that little pool?”  She of course smiled and said yes.  I pointed to a set of doors towards the front of the auditorium and said, “I think we should go that way.”  Now I must say that a show was going on, so the auditorium was dark.  I pulled Courtney behind me (because she couldn’t really see well in the dark) and we made our way to the set of doors.  There wasn’t a sign that warned us not to go in, so we did.  We entered a hallway and climbed down a few flight of stairs to another set of doors.  When we walked through them, we were standing outside on the front of the ship!  Nobody else was down there – just me and Courtney!  The lack of people standing around didn’t alarm me; I figured it was just because nobody ever thought to walk through the doors at the front of the auditorium.  Courtney didn’t say anything either, so we kept exploring.  We walked towards the front of the boat and there was another set of stairs that took you down to a lower deck, and on that deck was the ship’s bell.  I turned to Courtney and said “let’s go down there and take our picture in front of the bell!”  She was up for whatever and followed right behind me like a little puppy dog.  Now, I should probably also tell you that there was a little chain strung across the stairway down to the lower deck, but again, there wasn’t a sign telling us to stay out.  So I tried to unhook the chain, but to no avail.  Rather than turning around and giving up on the picture, we simply ducked under the chain and walked down the stairs.  We took turns taking pictures of each other in front of the bell, and when we were satisfied with our portraits, we climbed back up the stairs and under the chain.  When we reached the top, a man in a white uniform stopped us and said “you two aren’t supposed to be down here.”  To which we simply replied, “no problem, we were just leaving,” and we turned and walked back the way we came in – going up more stairs and into the auditorium (which was still dark because of a show).  When we returned to our seats, Courtney said in her sarcastic voice “I can’t believe you just walked all the way down there.  Don’t you think the unmarked doors and CHAIN across the stairs should have been your clue that we weren’t supposed to go down there!”  I just shrugged my shoulders and said “oh well, we had fun didn’t we?  If that guy hadn’t shown up, I bet we would have found the pool!”  We got the best laugh out of that! 

I can hear her laughing now…

Love always,

Kelly

Letter from Q

I’m going to post the letter Q sent to Courtney on November 21st, and I hope neither of them mind me doing so.  My family and I thought it was a very beautiful letter and wanted to share his words with all of you.  Q sent this letter to me because he didn’t think Courtney would ever see his message to her on Facebook.  I was able to read the letter to Courtney the same day he sent it, and it brought tears to her eyes – I think they were happy tears though.  I know they are sharing stories together in Heaven now.

Hey Courtney,

I don’t know that you’ll ever get this, but I wanted to say goodbye, if that’s the way it is.  We’ve been through a lot of the same stuff.  I’m sorry that transplant wasn’t the answer for either of us, but I do know that this is no failure. The opposite, in fact.

The writer Dostoyevsky, trying to find meaning among the unthinkable hardship in the Russian gulags, decided that suffering was not only an affliction but also an asset, a way to hone our character, our strength, our faith. he said our task was not to avoid suffering but to try to live up to it.  We live up to it by not letting it consume our inner selves, by not forking our will over to it.

I don’t say this often, but you have lived up to yours.  You have earned the right to let go.

I’ll always remember you for sharing this bizarre cystic life with me and the others.  I’ll remember you also for your kindness and for the way you stood behind me when half of the world was sending me death threats over Pepe. That meant more than you knew.  Now, as you prepare to take leave, to find your well-deserved rest, I remember that none of us is an island, that we each have important legacies, even if we’re just average people dealing with unpleasant realities.  Maybe we don’t always appreciate this because people forget to tell us we have touched them.

I know you have touched many people and are continuing to do so.  I want you to know I am one of them; I didn’t want to forget.

Whether I’m far behind or just a few steps, I’ll be joining you in the not-to-distant future.  I’ll ask for you when I get there.  Peace to you, Courtney.

Q

She’s watching over us

I don’t know about you, but I usually look for some sort of “sign” that tells me my loved ones who have passed are looking over me.  For my Dad, my sign is when something funny happens when I’m all by myself because he loved to play practical jokes; for my Pop, it’s a rainbow because he always whistled “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”  After Courtney decided to surrender in her fight against CF, I kept thinking, “How will I know when Courtney is thinking of me? What will be her sign?”  For some reason, for me, there seemed to be a theme of Stars surrounding Court’ s passing and I decided that would be my sign – just the stars in the night sky.

This morning, around 5:30am, I took my dog, Abby, for a walk like I do every morning – even though today was the coldest morning of the year.  Being so early, it was still very dark outside and a full moon was shining bright in the clear sky above.  I looked up at the stars, looking for the brightest one to represent my Courtney, and just as I focused on “her” star it jetted off across the night sky.  For a full 4 or 5 seconds, this beautiful star rocketed through the air with a long dust tail trailing behind it.  I have never seen such a bright shooting star, or one that lasted that long in my entire life.  It was a wonderful sight to see, and it made the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up despite the sweatshirt, jacket and two scarves I was wearing.  After it faded away, I stayed looking at the sky and told Courtney thank you and that I love her too.  I know that was her sign to let me know she is okay and she will always be watching over us.

A friend of mine wrote this Eskimo proverb in a card she sent me:  “Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.”

Love always, Kelly

Having trouble breathing

So I got a call today from Lindsay asking if I’ve been down to see Courtney lately.  I saw her on Monday night after 8:00, and she wasn’t very talkative, but she said she was tired.  Otherwise, I think she looked about the same as the last time I saw her.  Lindsay said yesterday was a very rough day for her.  Courtney kept saying that she felt like she couldn’t breathe, and after the nurses gave her some pills to help calm her nerves they still had to sedate her because she just couldn’t handle what she was going through.  I know Megan and GG were there yesterday morning, so hopefully Meg will update the blog shortly to give everyone a better update.  Lindsay said my mom spent the night with Courtney last night, but I haven’t talked to my mom yet to see how the night went.  I just wanted to post a quick update to let everyone know.  Please keep the prayers coming.  I hate seeing my sister suffer like this, and I pray that God will help her.

Love always, Kelly

So It looks like Megan did post – see below.

Are you freakin’ kidding me?

Yesterday afternoon GG was visiting with Courtney and Courtney was sitting in her chair.  She was ready to get back into bed, so the nurse came in to move her.  Apparently the usual nurses (who move her) were not there, so her day nurse and another small lady came in to help her back into bed.  GG said that neither of these two ladies really knew what they were doing – they didn’t have the chair in the right position to make it easy on Court to move from the chair to the bed, and they didn’t use the “belt” which is normally wrapped around Court and it allows the nurses to help Courtney stand up.  GG said she kept telling the ladies they were doing it all wrong, and Courtney even tried telling them they were doing it wrong, but they just didn’t listen.  GG said they basically picked Courtney up from under her arms (rather than using the belt) and then when she went to sit down on the bed, they both seemed to “let go” at the same time, and Courtney landed roughly on the bed.  GG said Courtney landed so hard that her head jerked back, and she asked Court if she was okay.  Courtney just nodded her head, but then GG noticed a lot of blood on her gown.  She went over to check on Court, and she was asking them where all this blood was coming from (GG said it was a LOT of blood).  They pulled Courtney’s gown back and saw that her incision had ripped open!  Nanny said the opening went from her side to the middle of her chest (basically right under her boobie), and the opening was about a 1.5″ – 2″ wide!  The nurse tried jamming gauze pads into it and then taped it up before going to get a doctor.  The doctor came in and said that yes, her initial surgery incision had opened up again.  They added some sort of black tape thing over the wound that plugs into the wall and is supposed to help with the healing.  I haven’t seen it yet, this is just the story I was given from GG. 

So, needless to say, Courtney had a VERY SHITTY day yesterday.  This pisses me off – what kind of nurse works in ICU that doesn’t know how to move patients – or that CAN’T HEAR!  Obviously they couldn’t hear, or else they would have listened to Courtney and GG when they kept telling them they were doing their job wrong!  Courtney is doing all she can to get better, and then the people who are supposed to be taking care of her rip open her incision!   GG said that if it weren’t for the fact that she has a broken arm already, she would have slapped the nurses.  She wanted to, that’s for sure.

I’m sorry for such an angry post, but this is ridiculous!

Kelly

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